Mother’s Day can be especially hard for those who have lost a child or mother to suicide. We all tackle this often difficult day differently and there are many articles and resources online to read that can give you some ideas of how others have coped, or what they experienced.
For some, a personal time of journalling or creating art gives the day a sense of having spent time with their loved one, or being with someone you can share memories of them with. It might be important for you to reach out to a counsellor or bereavement group. Whatever you choose to do, consider your needs and honour them.
We thought we’d put together a list of articles that might be helpful for you to read.
• This article has some great tools you can use to help make Mother’s Day special. Creating a personal ritual can be very healing, brings a sense of connection with your loved one and can create a sense of order in the tumultuous feelings grief brings. This excellent article is not only inspiring, but has some wonderful ideas to bring into Mother’s Day. Here it is.
• A mother’s first Mother’s Day after the loss of her son to suicide. This article highlights the importance for some to keep their minds busy, as in a project or meeting with friends on the day, as well as needing to talk about their lost loved one. It does show a Christian perspective. You can read it here.
• Some may have lost a mother to suicide. This insightful article is a deeply personal account of the author’s experience with her mother’s mental health issues and why she doesn’t need Mother’s Day. To quote the author, “Now that I work at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, I realize more and more to what extent my mom died of a very real disease. That if we treated mental health more like physical health, so many suicides could be averted. That I should be able to matter-of-factly say that my mom died of suicide in the same way that another friend might say her mom died of cancer, without worrying about making people feel uncomfortable…and not in the hushed tone that people just a few decades ago used to use for cancer, too.” It can be accessed here.
• This article talks about building your survival kit to cope in the search for a new normal. Here it is.
• Here is a personal account of lived experience, a mother is about to face her second Mother’s Day without her son. Read it here.
• Reading others’ experiences and thoughts on grief and Mother’s Day can be healing. This page expresses the sorrow of loss through poetry. Read it here.
• And finally, there is a pinterest page with words of comfort here.
It’s important to remember your journey through grief and loss is unique to you. There are many tools ‘out there’ that can be accessed to facilitate our healing and when we are aware of triggers, such as Mother’s Day, we can plan ahead to make that time as easy as possible. As mothers, you might need to juggle the needs of your other children with your own, and it’s important to, if you need, to make time just for YOU on this day. Be kind to yourself and remember the innate strength you have within yourself as well as your support networks.
It seems appropriate here, to dedicate a song for the children, no matter what age, who have been lost to suicide. Cloud Cult is an American band. Their album, “The Seeker” reflects the healing journey of the main singer as he journeyed through grief after the loss of his infant son. It reflects the universal sorrow of bereavement of a child. This song, “Because You Were Born”, although not from this album, seems perfect as one to honour our children, and in essence, for those who have lost mothers too.
Have a peaceful Mother’s Day.